twelveofour

You know what feeling when you've got way too much on your plate? That self imposed busyness that really doesn't even have to be there in the first place? At first it's an exciting premise; I have real purpose, you tell yourself. I'm an entrepreneur in every sense!

All of a sudden you've gone from having a normal working person's day to an irritating busybody day filled with non-stop meetings, and tasks, and responsibilities that don't end until well into the next morning. Needless to say over time that busybody excitement fades like an ocean wave, dragging away enthusiasm and general motivation away with it, so all you're left with is a faded shell of your former normal self. This is where I am right now, at the end of a massive wave and all I feel is tired.

It's not like it's the first time either. I do this to myself all the time! I need to feel busy with challenging things to stay motivated (which likely explains why I keep up with this blog after so many years) and more often than not that means taking on too many responsibilities in my work and personal life.

It's my favorite game of Jenga that I happily sit down to play even though every single time I forget that Jenga is the most fucked up game because it always ends in noisy disaster no matter how strategic or graceful or organized play it.

This is a vague post, and it's vague very much on purpose because of everything that's on my plate right now. But that's the nice thing about having a blog like this! I can be totally vague about something and feel catharsis just writing about it (even if the tie to fashion is tenuous at best), and then sometimes someone lovely comes along after reading my cathartic thing and comments how my feelings are exactly how they're feeling about something else entirely.

Even if no one comes along and agrees, it's a self reflective exercise done semi-publicly that has helped me enormously get over this hurdle on the road right now. So thank you!