That time you went to dinner with the beautiful man that you convinced to live with you forever and then you make him wait patiently while you take literally forever to eat your meal, because you may or may not be stressing about a potentially deadly allergen that you may or may not be really allergic to because you’re pretty much traumatized by the last time your throat was closing for no apparent reason and he followed your ambulance to the hospital in our car, blowing kisses in the distance while telling you you’ll be okay and he loves you.

We’re deadly allergic to shrimp, hence that time in the ambulance right? Or was it just shrimp and not fish…. does that mean all seafood though?

[cries in anaphylaxis-fear tears whilst gripping Epipen]