In which I am getting back into makeup at the ripe age of 36 after two years of not doing much during quarantine. I’m attempting to do it entirely with “cleaner” brands this time. So I actually tossed out many of my older makeup brands, which were just about a million months too old at this point, but nonetheless felt a bit like lighting money on fire.

I’m aware that this “clean” word is a moving target, too — I’m not entirely lost. And it is a doozy and a half because there’s no official definition or governing body to protect people from actually harmful ingredients. Yet companies can slap “clean” all about their products and we can just be happy little consumers testing it live on our own skin and bodies.

My entire routine end-to-end is pretty sparse, which I like, even if it means you can see my little veins and rosacea and my wrinkles. I’m currently testing many brands to augment a bit of my natural color tones — like this one in this photo; this little liquid peach blush applicator is from Saie. I also got their bronzer and dewy highlighter and maybe an SPF moisturizer if I can locate stock in color “ONE” or “TWO" — or both? People, there are so many claims on these, so we shall see if it was really worth literally writing about.

And since I quite Instagram and such in 2020 I’m not vetting this by any social media or caring about any influencer’s opinions but my own (isn’t it wild to just rely on informed decision making and your own brain of info?). I’m not totally alone on this though. I’m taking the ingredients listed on the website and packaging one by one and Googling them in EWG and various Reddit forums where there appears to be good samaritans that know chemistry are seemingly being truthful to humanity. So I’m doing that until I feel semi confident that I don’t think this stupid minimal routine that I realized I do want won’t do some spectacular harm to me.

Note: not “clean” are apparently my favorite Tom Ford brow brown eyebrow gel superglue thing and my favorite Surrat brown eye liner. I’m currently seeking new options! So if a good chemistry student out there knows if these are okay to go, please let a girl know.

Anyway, more to come, internet void. More to come.