I haven't made a fashion related purchase in about a month, which doesn't seem like an achievement of any sorts until I start truly thinking of how much I tend to reward myself with whatever I want since I started making a real living. I work hard, which is satisfying in a way, and have gotten used to giving myself a treat whenever I felt like it just becaues I finally could. The problem is that having everything and anything I always wanted didn't make me happier, but instead made me feel more and more like I'm was on an island of fucking stuff, wondering what the point of it all was.
So lately instead of shopping I'm getting rid of everything I haven't worn in six months — and I do mean everything. I like how "off the grid" it makes me feel to have fewer choices in the morning because I'm slowly whittling down a decade's worth of clothes down to trusty favorites and solid basics.
I'm noticing the less frequently I buy something fashion related, the more I feel disconnected to the fashion weeks, the nonsense coverage by fashion magazines, and purported style blogger authorities.
How sustainable is it anyway for anyone to have a walk in closet with museum-like shelves and pedestals for dozens of bags and stilletos? Some of the most successful Pins on Pinterest seem to be the saddest to me, promoting a cavernous Mariah Carey diva closet of endless Chanels, Hermes, Valentino this, Gucci in subtle variations. I want something more. I want to be able to look into my typical closet with sliding doors and be inspired and confident in what I've got.
So I'm unfollowing and unplugging from uninspiring, recycled, and avenues for anxiety everywhere because I have decided that on the cusp of thirty I simply don't want this type of life. The constant pursuit of shit. I want something more meaningful, which is rooted in financial responsibility (a.k.a., no more credit cards for purchases, an endeavor I've embarked upon recently that is a surprising struggle), human moments with friends and family (a.k.a., put down the freaking phone), and living more simply (a.k.a., some timeless closet items are fine, but for the most part the wardrobe should be minimal). It's this anti-inspiration that is suddenly my main motivation these days, especially in fashion.
Maybe it's me growing up, turning the corner on a brand new decade, and much like starting a new job, wanting to be the best version of my self without the baggage and silliness I fell prey to the previous years.
Oh? And what am I wearing in the photos? I'm wearing a bunch of old stuff I love. Things that aren't even of this current season and I couldn't care less.