Versus what I’m really wearing (leggings, worn work boots, sports bra and oversized tee). It turns out that after eight years of home ownership I’m pretty handy with just about anything you need to get done. I’ve assisted Nick is sheet rocking the garage, I’m your gal for anything that has to do with a spade, a pick axe, or precision hammering of nails. I have not one, not two, but three pairs of work gloves, each for specific tasks — all a man’s XXSmall because apparently women don’t need work gloves, come on!

This weekend? I’m demoing the entire kitchen while Nick finishes spray painting the floorboards in the garage. It’s a fun task until you realize it’s a lot of work, it’s loud, and that dump truck that cost $900 for a 3-day park in your driveway was actually a really good idea. My biggest concern is the old wall-mounted appliances that weigh about 300 pounds. My father in law and my lovely mother in law helped us demo a big portion of the cabinetry (ugh, live savers!), but now we’ve got the countertops and the cabinet around the fridge to deal with and those are more structurally tricky to take apart than is depicted on HGTV. Don’t trust what you see on TV, people. (Also — get ear protection!!)

While we’re here let’s also pretend my fast-graying hair also looks like Alba Galocha’s and not the rat’s nest of dirt and whatnot is in there now from removing the crown molding from the ceilings and repairing and sanding the walls back to smooth for the painters.